I grew up in church, Southern Baptist, and I have never strayed too far from God in my lifetime. I have always had a relationship with Him and I have never stopped talking to Him though at times it has been only when I was in trouble. I have always known that I was going to do great things in my life and that I have a special future. My mom has always told me that and I have never forgotten the words that she said to me and continues to say to me about my future. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, made some really bad choices and I have allowed the devil to gain a foothold in my mind in more ways than one over the years. I knew right from wrong, I didn't want to do the wrong thing because I knew the consequences but somehow I ended up right where I didn't want to be. It's just like Adam and Eve. The only thing God told them not to do was to eat of the Tree in the middle of the garden; and wouldn't you know right where they found themselves standing when the moment of truth came. Staring into the beautiful fruit at the foot of the tree in the middle of the garden. Once they stepped foot in front of that tree it was already over.
Adam and Eve committed the first sin, they ate the fruit that placed a curse on everyone from then on that has caused a lot of pain and suffering over the ages. We now have a war going on within our minds at all times between good and evil; or sometimes good and God's best. We struggle and fight within ourselves when it comes to our hurts, habits and hang-ups. We oftentimes know what the right thing to do is but we find ourselves at the foot of the tree just like Adam and Eve did staring into the fruit that we know will destroy us.
The beautiful thing about the God we serve is that His mercy is never ending and His Grace and Mercy is New every morning. We can fall into traps all day long and if we bear His name and believe in Him we will be forgiven and our sins are as far from us as the East is from the West. This is where my thinking has been every since I was a little boy. I believed that no matter what I did I could always ask God for forgiveness and my slate would be wiped clean and I was free to go about my business guilt free. It's like a get out of jail free card that all Christians had in their back pockets at all time and it has worked for me for a long time. Now when I screwed up I honestly didn't want to screw up like that again and I truly didn't want to upset God by doing the same thing over and over again but after a little while the same things started happening again and I was on another lap around the mountain ending up at the same place; on my knees asking God for forgiveness and help to get out of the mess I had made. I never understood Repentance.
Repentance literally means to Turn away from your way of thinking, being and doing life and turning toward God, wherever He may be. It means to stop and literally turn toward God and change your actions forever. To choose a new path that is based on God's way of doing things, or righteousness. I only recently have learned this TRUTH and it has opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. I have learned that because I am a Christian, I believe that God sent Jesus to die for my sins as a sacrifice and because of Jesus' obedience and love for me I am released from the sin that would have sentenced me to DEATH and a lifetime, an eternity separated from God. And because of this belief no matter what I have done, do or will do I will never stop being God's son and I can never do anything to change this. Because I am God's son I have a Blessing on my life, I am blessed to be fruitful and to prosper and to take dominion over anything I wish to have dominion over. I actually have to UNBLESS myself by the actions I take that block God from that area of my life. If I have sin in my life or something that I have let tangle me up into my life I am allowing a wall to be built between me and God in that area of my life and I cannot receive the blessings that God has planned for me. The revelation that I have received recently is this: God has a special future for me and plans to make my tomorrow better than my yesterday but I have to do MY PART in order for God to do His part. In order to receive the blessings that God has for me I have to Order my life and accept Personal Responsibility for my actions and actively seek GOD and His Way of Doing things or God's Righteousness. It doesn't matter if I believe that God has a plan for my life or not; if I don't do my part and seek after Him I will never reach my full potential and receive all of the blessings that He has in store for me.
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