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What does it mean to really repent?

I grew up in church, Southern Baptist, and I have never strayed too far from God in my lifetime. I have always had a relationship with Him and I have never stopped talking to Him though at times it has been only when I was in trouble. I have always known that I was going to do great things in my life and that I have a special future. My mom has always told me that and I have never forgotten the words that she said to me and continues to say to me about my future. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, made some really bad choices and I have allowed the devil to gain a foothold in my mind in more ways than one over the years. I knew right from wrong, I didn't want to do the wrong thing because I knew the consequences but somehow I ended up right where I didn't want to be. It's just like Adam and Eve. The only thing God told them not to do was to eat of the Tree in the middle of the garden; and wouldn't you know right where they found themselves standing when the moment of truth came. Staring into the beautiful fruit at the foot of the tree in the middle of the garden. Once they stepped foot in front of that tree it was already over.
Adam and Eve committed the first sin, they ate the fruit that placed a curse on everyone from then on that has caused a lot of pain and suffering over the ages. We now have a war going on within our minds at all times between good and evil; or sometimes good and God's best. We struggle and fight within ourselves when it comes to our hurts, habits and hang-ups. We oftentimes know what the right thing to do is but we find ourselves at the foot of the tree just like Adam and Eve did staring into the fruit that we know will destroy us.
The beautiful thing about the God we serve is that His mercy is never ending and His Grace and Mercy is New every morning. We can fall into traps all day long and if we bear His name and believe in Him we will be forgiven and our sins are as far from us as the East is from the West. This is where my thinking has been every since I was a little boy. I believed that no matter what I did I could always ask God for forgiveness and my slate would be wiped clean and I was free to go about my business guilt free. It's like a get out of jail free card that all Christians had in their back pockets at all time and it has worked for me for a long time. Now when I screwed up I honestly didn't want to screw up like that again and I truly didn't want to upset God by doing the same thing over and over again but after a little while the same things started happening again and I was on another lap around the mountain ending up at the same place; on my knees asking God for forgiveness and help to get out of the mess I had made. I never understood Repentance.
Repentance literally means to Turn away from your way of thinking, being and doing life and turning toward God, wherever He may be. It means to stop and literally turn toward God and change your actions forever. To choose a new path that is based on God's way of doing things, or righteousness. I only recently have learned this TRUTH and it has opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. I have learned that because I am a Christian, I believe that God sent Jesus to die for my sins as a sacrifice and because of Jesus' obedience and love for me I am released from the sin that would have sentenced me to DEATH and a lifetime, an eternity separated from God. And because of this belief no matter what I have done, do or will do I will never stop being God's son and I can never do anything to change this. Because I am God's son I have a Blessing on my life, I am blessed to be fruitful and to prosper and to take dominion over anything I wish to have dominion over. I actually have to UNBLESS myself by the actions I take that block God from that area of my life. If I have sin in my life or something that I have let tangle me up into my life I am allowing a wall to be built between me and God in that area of my life and I cannot receive the blessings that God has planned for me. The revelation that I have received recently is this: God has a special future for me and plans to make my tomorrow better than my yesterday but I have to do MY PART in order for God to do His part. In order to receive the blessings that God has for me I have to Order my life and accept Personal Responsibility for my actions and actively seek GOD and His Way of Doing things or God's Righteousness. It doesn't matter if I believe that God has a plan for my life or not; if I don't do my part and seek after Him I will never reach my full potential and receive all of the blessings that He has in store for me.

Showing honor to the one's you love...

I don't naturally think about honoring people nor did I really know what it meant up until a couple of months ago. I understand respect but honor was new to me. I've learned that it's possible to respect a person but not honor them because respect is an internal thing whereas giving honor is external. Honor is SHOWN not felt. This was a revelation to me and as I thought about it more I started to think about ways that I could show honor to the people I love and really to everyone I come in contact with. The definition I chose for honor is To dignify; to raise to distinction or notice; to bestow honor upon; to elevate in rank or station; to ennoble; to exalt; to glorify; hence, to do something to honor; to treat in a complimentary manner or with civility. To honor somebody is literally to elevate them and to dignify them; showing them how much you appreciate them for what they bring into your life. This is the highest form of love in my opinion.
One thing that I have had on my mind recently is how I prove my love toward God. How am I honoring God daily and what do I do that proves God's place in my life? There's many ways that you can honor God with your life and I believe that consistency is the key to a strong spiritual life no matter what you choose to do to show honor to God. Two ways that I am working on honoring God is by offering my first fruits to God regularly by returning a tenth of my increase to Him every time I get a check from work. The other way I am working on proving God's place in my life is by spending time reading His word daily and meditating on it throughout the day. There's something about reading the bible that brings clarity to my day and joy to my life that nothing else comes close to. Meditating on the word of God and constantly thinking about it and speaking it keeps you focused on God and helps to elevate your thinking. One of the biggest enemies I try to overcome during the day is being so busy that I stop thinking about the word of God, I take my mind off God and focus on all of the work I have to do. When this happens I get frustrated, worn out, tired and I don't enjoy my day nearly as much or get as much done as when I focus on God all day and work as if I am working for Him and not just doing my job to get it done.
Showing honor to the ones you love is one of the highest forms of praise and love. To honor someone means that you raise them up and humble yourself before them. You do whatever it is that you can do to make them feel special without asking for anything in return or expecting them to do anything back because the deserve to be honored and treated this way just because they are who they are. If we can act like this to everyone we know and act this way toward our Father in Heaven we will be blessed beyond imagination. The bible says that whoever exalts himself will be humbled but whoever humbles himself will be exalted and raised up high. Whoever wants to be the greatest will be the servant of all. God help me to show honor to you and to the ones I love. Increase my knowledge and wisdom and give me the faith to understand how to be the man you created me to be. Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty!!! Amen..

What do we do when we fall down...

The saying goes What do you do when you fall down, you pick yourself back up again. That makes sense and everything but what does it really mean to the person who has fallen down over and over again and has to keep picking up the pieces and trying to make sense of it all? What does the person do that has made mistakes, the same mistakes, over and over again and keeps taking laps around the same track? What do you do when you find yourself in the same situation that tried to claim your "life" before and you just don't know what to do? They say that God doesn't put you into a situation without a sufficient amount of willpower to overcome it but in the midst of the situation it sometimes doesn't feel like that is true because you are in the middle of a war between your mind and your flesh and unless you are prepared for the battle you will lose to your flesh everytime. I have done a lot of things in my past that have almost cost me everything I had but by the grace of God I have been spared the pain of losing it all on more than one occasion yet I still struggle with going back to the same old habits that caused me and the people I love so much pain and suffering. How does this happen and what can I do to prevent it from ever happening again? The first problem or obsticale that I have to overcome is to get past the guilt and negative feelings that are looming in my mind and body from the failure that has just occured. I keep going over and over the situation that I have put myself into again and it just depresses me and my conscience has kicked into overdrive and I feel like a worthless piece of crap because of the poor choices I have made that could be the undoing of all of the hard work that I have put into this process up until this point. I keep going over the consequences of my actions and the shame that I feel because I know what I have done and what I could lose if I don't make the right choices from now on. The only things that are going on in my mind are negative and it's hard to focus on anything but the situation that I am in no matter what is going on around me. Habits are funny things that only take a few days to form, especially if it is a habbit that you had for a long period of time before and you have just fallen back into it; it's like an old pair of jeans that fit just right and you don't want to take them off and put the new pair back on because they feel so good. No matter what period of time or length of time you spend in the old pair of jeans it's still hard to take them off and wear the new pair because it just doesn't feel the same. The first order of business is to get rid of the negative thoughts and put together a new plan of action, a routine that will be your new pair of jeans that you will just have to put in the effort to break in. It is going to take some time, maybe a couple of weeks before they start feeling better and easier to wear but it's just a matter of time before you don't even remember the old pair because the new ones fit just right for your new lifestyle. Once you have your plan of attack and your new routine that you have put together you have to set your mind on other things and stick to the plan. You need to set goals for yourself and keep focused on the goals of the day or the goals of the hour or the half hour, whatever you need to do to keep focused and get a sense of accomplishment to drown out the negative thoughts and to get some form of positive thoughts going in your mind. Keep setting goals for yourself, continue to work the new plan and don't let anything stop you from accomplishing your goals becuase once you slip one time it gets easier and easier to slip the second time and the third time and before you know it you are right back where you started. The road is long and hard and it takes a long time to repair the damage in your mind and in your life after the disaster strikes but you have to put it behind you and use the anger that you are feeling inside to drive you towards your new goals and you have to use whatever positive things you have in your life to focus your drive to create a better, healthier you for the people you have around you. You can do it, I can do it and we can do it together if we just believe that God has already seen our whole life and He knew that you were going to make the mistake that you made before you even made it and He forgave you anyway. Now it's just up to you not to keep making the same mistakes and to learn from the past so it doesn't repeat itself again.
One thing I have come to realize in my life is that the further along in my walk with God the shorter my leash is getting. Even though I slip and fall all the time still I don't fall as far away as I used to and it's getting easier to snap out of the rut that so easily entangles me. That's something that has really helped me especially lately because when I first became a Christian it was really hard for me to get back on the horse again when I fell off. I think that's one of the hardest things for me, because I am so hard on myself, to look at myself in the mirror again and believe that God loves me and He will give me the strength to pick myself up AGAIN and get back on the right path. After you make so many mistakes and pick yourself up again and again you just wonder if you have the strength to do it again and I can tell you wholeheartedly that you will always have the strength available to you through Jesus Christ, you just have to want to access it and believe that God is for you so who can be against you.
No matter what you have done in the past or in the present, how bad it is or how many times you have failed God loves you because you are His son or daughter. You are the object of His affection and it is His Good Pleasure to give you the Good things of the Kingdom. You just have to believe and obey His commands which are there for your own well being. He is the Good Shepherd and if you will just follow Him and Obey Him He will lead you to the clean refreshing streams where you can thrive. The only drawback is that you will have to go through the Valley to get there. Have faith that God loves you and will be with you through the valley. He won't leave you there, He is leading you to higher ground. Get ready to be Elevated!!!

God's blessings

Brandon